A Book at Bedtime - 'Redgauntlet'
(Cut to studio: a silhouette of a man sitting on high stool with book.)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'A BOOK AT BEDTIME'
Voice Over: (Eric Idle) 'Book at Bedtime' Tonight Jeremy Toogood reads 'Redgauntlet' by Sir Walter Scott.
(The lights come up.)
Jeremy: (Michael Palin) Hello. (he follows the words closely with a finger and reads with great difficulty) The sunsoot... the siunsiett... the sunset! .. the sunset... waas... was was... the sunset was... deeing ... d ... ying dying... o ... over... the ... hile ... hiel.., heels ... halls ... hills! of... slow ... Sol ... way ... Firth... The... love piper... the lone piper... the lone piper... on... the .., bait ... ly ... ments ... (smiles nervously) ... of Edingrund ... dydburing... Edingbir... Edinburgh! Castle ... was... siluted ... sil ... sillhou...
(Another man enters, takes the book from his hands rather testily and stands by the chair. He smiles apologetically at the camera and reads.)
Second Reader: (John Cleese) The sunset was dying over the hills of Solway Firth. The lone piper on the battlements of Edinburgh Castle was silhouetted against the crim ... crim ... crimisy .., crimson! against the crimson strays ... stree ..,
(One more reader enters and reads over his shoulder)
Third Reader: (Eric Idle) Streaked!
Second Reader: Streaked?
Third Reader: Crimson-streaked sky ... in the shadows of... crrignu...
(He can't make out the next word. The second reader also tries to puzzle it out and eventually Jeremy pulls the book down towards him and they all try to puzzle it out. A lot of head shaking. A technician enters wearing headphones.)
Technician: (Graham Chapman) Cairngorm! In the shadows of Cairngorm!
Third Reader: In the shadows of Cairngorm, the l... layered...
(A second technician and a make-up girl enter.)
Second Technician: Laird! The Laird of Monteu ... Montreaux...
Make-up Girl: Montrose.
All: The Laird of Montrose!
Second Technician: Gal-lopped...
Jeremy: Galloped!
(Everybody joins in helping with words. We mix through to Edinburgh Castle at dusk. Cotinues into the 'Kamikaze Scotsman' sketch)
Continue to the next sketch... Kamikaze Scotsmen