Oliver Cromwell
Spoken: THE MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT
KING CHARLES I IS THAT HE WAS 5'6"
TALL AT THE START OF HIS REIGN, BUT
ONLY 4'8" TALL AT THE END OF IT ...
BECAUSE OF ...
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England
PURITAN
Born in 1599 and died in 1658
SEPTEMBER
Was at first
ONLY
MP for Huntingdon
BUT THEN
He led the Ironside Cavalry at Marston Moor
in 1644 and won
Then he founded the new model army
And praise be, beat the Cavaliers at Naisby
And the King fled up North, like a bat to the
Scots.
Spoken: BUT UNDER THE TERMS OF JOHN PIMM'S
SOLEMN LEAGUE AND COVENANT, THE
SCOTS HANDED KING CHARLES I OVER
TO ...
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England
AND HIS WARTS
Born in 1599 and died in 1658
SEPTEMBER
But alas
OY VAY!
Disagreement then broke out
BETWEEN
The Presbyterian Parliament
And the Military who meant
To have an independent bent.
And so ...
The 2nd Civil War broke out
And the Roundhead ranks
Faced the Cavaliers at Preston banks
And the King lost again, silly thing
STUPID GIT
Spoken: AND CROMWELL SENT COLONEL PRIDE
TO PURGE THE HOUSE OF COMMONS OF
THE PRESBYTERIAN ROYALISTS,
LEAVING BEHIND ONLY THE RUMP
PARLIAMENT ...
Which appointed a High Court at Westminster Hall
To indict Charles I for ... tyranny
OOOHHH!
Charles was sentenced to death
Even though he refused to accept
That the court had ... jurisdiction
SAY GOODBYE TO HIS HEAD.
Poor King Charles laid his head on the block
JANUARY 1649
Down came the axe, and ...
Spoken: IN THE SILENCE THAT FOLLOWED, THE
ONLY SOUND THAT COULD BE HEARD
WAS A SOLITARY GIGGLE, FROM ...
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England
OLE
Born in 1599 and died in 1658
SEPTEMBER
Then he smashed
IRELAND
Set up the Commonwealth
AND MORE
He crushed the Scots at Worcester
And beat the Dutch at sea
In 1653 and then
He dissolved the rump Parliament
And with Lambert's consent
Wrote the instrument of Government
Under which Oliver was Protector at last
The end.
