Spam Poetry Contest Winners

Honorable Mention Limericks:

From Archbishop Aardwolf, who got a big bonus for working in the website name...

I am a man from Tibet
I haven't spotted a camel yet
The only thing I like more
Than Spam from the store
Is MontyPython.Net

From Paul Bruckman who chose to focus on the internet meaning of Spam...

It seems that the Pythonesque skit
With "Spam" as its theme was a hit.
Some Internet nerd
Has twisted the word
To mean undesired, e-mailed shit.

From Martin Hollis, who also picked up bonus points for working in another silly Python sketch....

There once was a man from Japan
Who liked to eat loads of Spam
He had a lobster mornay (With a thermadore....)
It made him sick all day
So he threw up in Ken Shabby's hand

Honorable Mention Haiku:

From Grinch, who respects Spam enough to hail it...

Nearly edible,
It's shell, a can, open it.
Pink Spam hail to thee.

From Betsy Q, who asks the burning question that nobody wants answered....

Processed animals..
Congealed glorious pinkness!
What's really in Spam?

From Charlie Galindo who gets a bonus for being a philosophical Python fan, a rare combination...

If a can of Spam
Fell with no one to hear it
Would it make a sound?

From TailMange, who also questions what's really in this stuff...

Spam is a kind of,
Meat. At least that's what the makers,
of Spam like to think!

From Robert Hawthorne, another bonus for working in more Python silliness...

Sod Lemon Curry!
The entree par excellence?
Spiced Pork and Ham! SPAM!

From Nap01e0n, who at least admits he (or she, it's hard sometimes) doesn't really want to know...

Gooshy pinkish Spam
What exactly is it? Hmm.
I'm afraid to ask.

From Wapcaplet and Lisa Brodt, who chose to offer this uplifting piece of advice on life... They both submitted exactly the same Haiku, hmmmmm

The old saying is
Still true; when life hands you meat
By-products, make Spam.

From Fred Chook, who got big trivial bonus points for knowing the name of the cafe... BTW, this was the last entry received, it came in about 5 minutes before entries closed.

The Vikings Invade
The Green Midget Cafe. And
Won't Stop Singing 'Spam'.

Now, on to our winners:

The aformentioned Lisa Brodt is a co-winner in the Limerick Category for this gem:

At first it may seem rather smelly
That meat from the can wrapped in jelly
But Spam's low in fat
Served with not-so-much rat
What better to put in your belly?

And, our co-winner for the limericks and the outright winner in haiku is Steven Rimpici who submitted six poems, each better than the last. I was unable to pick out a personal favorite, so I'll just show you all of them and allow you to pick your own winner. Well done Steven, truly great stuff!!!

Spam lovers gather
Montypython.net
Gelatinous fun.

You say you're in the mood for some meat,
Well for you have I got a treat!
Spam is great fun!
Canned in 1901!
You feel better with each bite you eat!

A fountain of youth
Spam immune to time's effects
Shelf life forever.

During sex you should use protection,
So cover that full blown erection.
Just slide on the goo.
Fun for her and for you!
Spam makes for great contraception.

Oh to know you more
Spam so spongy and gooey
Share your meaty truths.

It's Montypython.net
For all the best dish you can get.
The Webmaster is great!
He's truly first rate!
And I'll say "Spam" before I forget.